Being in a relationship founded on a lack of trust, can and will be just as bad or worse as being in one that lacks support.
Just to paint a little illustration on how it’s related, just imagine an insecure relationship. Imagine having to be questioned about what you’re doing, where you’re going, why you’re going, and the when’s and how’s that follows as well.
Now imagine that not being good enough of an answer even after you’ve went through the questioning that really wasn’t accepted from the start of your explanation? How exactly does that make you feel just with imagining that constant cycle of questioning and pleading your case?
Imagine that feeling of always being on trial or needing to get ready to act your own defense attorney for anything and everything? Stressful, I’m sure, is the number one thing that comes to mind. This is ultimately a consistently stressful situation.
Lacking support in a relationship can result in the same stressful situation. This is especially true for those that have both unhealthy traits. You might be wondering how would you know whether you’re in a relationship like this besides the obvious? Well here’s a few common traits depending on the severity:
● Won’t encourage you in areas that she/he feels you can benefit.
● Gives you a hard time when you are trying to achieve any or all your goals.
● Only encourages you when or if it benefits them as well.
● Always questions your reasoning behind wanting to engage in any activities and often discourages you from pursuing them.
● Will often critize before they compliment.
● Will often turn your positives into a negative in some way.
●You are always wrong and they are always right.
● If something goes wrong and you vent to them, it will often result in a “I told you so” lecture (of course sympathizing would be too supportive; Go figures)
● You will often be guilted into supporting them if you question why you weren’t supported for similar situations (this might include being told you’re petty, immature, or being tit-for-tat)
For relationships involving children:
● You are often left to manage the children alone.
● Even in times when the other parent can help, they refuse to help, will argue, or guilt you for asking or needing their help with the children.
● For kids activities, you often have to pay all expenses, attend games and meetings, travel (as needed), and be a parent participant as needed over 60% of the time and you dare not ask for help with one area.
● If you are sick or can’t manage the busy schedule with the kids, or have anyone else to help, it doesn’t happen.
● You often find yourself wanting to do everything alone to avoid a court hearing or arguement.
These are just a small number of ways to spot whether you’ve been in a relationship that lacks support. I’d love to hear about what my JaeTalks crew has to add, comment, and even share personally about this topic. Always feel free to write DM me @Jae_Talks on IG or write me on Dear Jae.
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